Friday, April 02, 2010

LESS than 24 hours to go....

We are in the final countdown for Solomon's Raffle Extravaganza. There's still time to buy your tickets. It is so exciting to watch the Lord moving so greatly to break down the financial barrier to our boy. Raffle info. HERE
I am missing my boy so much!!! Ohhh, how I want to hold him and love on him! I got caught up watching gotcha videos last night. Let's just say...for the record...DON'T watch gotcha videos while you are waiting!! WHY do we do that to ourselves...NOW don't you all be thinking I'm a crazy person because I KNOW you've all done it too :) The hardest one's to watch were the kiddos around 4-6 years old.

These peanuts are old enough to grasp what's happening and watching them grieve has rocked me to the core!! You know...when you are adopting a baby or even a toddler, they really aren't sure what's happening. They initially scream because they are being handed to a stranger...their screams & cries are not because they are grieving the loss of their 'family' although those cries come shortly after. But with an older child, they can grasp the fact that the nanny or foster mama that is walking out the door will never come back. They are instantly abandoned (again) and in the arms of someone they have never met but is suppose to be their forever mama. They are told to be happy and not cry...'don't you see, this is your mama now'.

Every time I really think about what these precious children have to go through (young or old), I fall apart. I get that the reality is this has to happen for them to come home but it's still very hard to accept. I fear that I am going to be a wreck when we finally get to meet our baby boy...the emotions of unbelievable joy and sadness all at the same am I going to hold it together so I don't scare him????

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