Today I packed your clothes...
I was overwhelmed with emotions...
Lots of tears...
I miss you...
But through the tears came joy...
Do you know that you are forever my joyous melody?
You see my little love, by God's divine appointment...
I met a woman who's friend's daughter was pregnant with a baby girl...
She is unable to parent her sweet babe...
I was asked if we would consider adopting her...
BUT we knew that God's plans for this little girl were greater than your daddy and I!
God's plan was for our dear friends to adopt her....
Friends who had been trying to bring their baby girl home from Russia when the government closed the doors of international adoption to the USA.
Friends who longed to have their Ellie home safe in their arms...
But God has different plans for them right now...
Plans to continue to wait & fight for their Ellie BUT...
While they wait...
Glorious plans for them to adopt THIS sweet baby girl have begun to unfolded...
My Zemirah girl...
This little baby girl is a miracle....
She is a precious gift...
due to be born any day now...
God brought her to us through your baby brother, Simeon, during one of his hospital stays...
It is impossible to begun to understand all that God has planned...
but one thing I know for sure...
The one thing I cling to...
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
Without you precious girl....
Your baby brother would not be here...
And this sweet girl would not been united with her forever family...
God's ways are higher than ours...
I have peace in knowing that during our grief...
God has caused some beautiful good to come...
Oh the beauty I so longed and desperately begged to see...
The beauty in your death is slowly unfolding...
So today my beautiful girl...
I packed up your coming home outfit...
And tearfully gave it to a mama who is anxiously awaiting the arrival of her miracle girl...
A miracle girl who in some crazy way...
found her forever family because of you.
I love you...
I ache for you to be in my arms...
I miss you ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Update...finally :)
Where oh where have we been??
In the hospital...
5 times...
totaling almost 5 weeks...
over a 13 week period...
all for this incredible, glorious, miraculous gift...our sweet son!
You see....during the first quiet moments we had alone with him, we knew something wasn't quite right. His breathing didn't seem to be normal. In fact, when he was sleeping or sitting in certain positions, he would literally stop breathing.
After many tests...
several hospital stays...
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It was confirmed that our precious boy was indeed having many episodes where he was not breathing. We are talking like 100+ times an hour when he was sleeping, he would stop breathing. When giving oxygen while sleeping the # improved but it was still extremely dangerous...20+ times an hour. Thankfully the Lord had us at the right hospital under the best care.
We were faced with a difficult decision...well...it was difficult at the time but now that we are on the other side, we know it was absolutely necessary to protect his life.
On Feb. 16, little man had surgery...
Yep...he had tracheostomy surgery. His official diagnosis...severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea. He has very tiny airways and add some of the complications that come with Down Syndrome....hypotonia, low skull, big tongue...well...they add up to a completely blocked airway. He is doing great...breathing beautifully...breathing safely!
I think the most difficult part for us initially was the lose of his voice. Because of the trach, we can no longer hear his beautiful cries...his precious coo's...he recently started giggling but there is no sound. Seems silly to have to grieve that but we did. BUT my baby boy is ALIVE!!!! God has protected his little life!!!
I tell you...God has incredible plans in store for little mister. His precious 4 month old life has touched thousands of people worldwide....has brought nurses to tears...has caused other families to consider adopting a child with down syndrome...has led people to the Lord, including his Chinese mama...YES...YOU READ THAT RIGHT. Because of Simeon...because of who he is...because of how the Lord moved miraculously....his beautiful, brave, amazing birthmama accepted Christ as her personal Savior. The entire story of her salvation is precious...miraculous...I'm talking treading-on-holy ground. Some day, with her permission, I will share it but know this......because of her choice to give her son life....because of her & her family's choice to place him for adoption....she found Jesus!!!!!!
Not only have we been given the gift of a beautiful son....we have been given the gift of family....we have also been given the gift of a big "sister" :) You see...Simeon's older bio-sister is living near us while she attends college here. We all absolutely adore her and LOVE that she is a part of our lives!
It is virtually impossible to put into words how much we love our sweet baby. He has brought us JOY....glorious JOY....ohhhh....there are no words...he is absolutely AMAZING!!!!! We simply can't imagine our lives without him!
In the hospital...
5 times...
totaling almost 5 weeks...
over a 13 week period...
all for this incredible, glorious, miraculous gift...our sweet son!
After many tests...
several hospital stays...
.JPG)
It was confirmed that our precious boy was indeed having many episodes where he was not breathing. We are talking like 100+ times an hour when he was sleeping, he would stop breathing. When giving oxygen while sleeping the # improved but it was still extremely dangerous...20+ times an hour. Thankfully the Lord had us at the right hospital under the best care.
We were faced with a difficult decision...well...it was difficult at the time but now that we are on the other side, we know it was absolutely necessary to protect his life.
On Feb. 16, little man had surgery...
Yep...he had tracheostomy surgery. His official diagnosis...severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea. He has very tiny airways and add some of the complications that come with Down Syndrome....hypotonia, low skull, big tongue...well...they add up to a completely blocked airway. He is doing great...breathing beautifully...breathing safely!
I think the most difficult part for us initially was the lose of his voice. Because of the trach, we can no longer hear his beautiful cries...his precious coo's...he recently started giggling but there is no sound. Seems silly to have to grieve that but we did. BUT my baby boy is ALIVE!!!! God has protected his little life!!!
I tell you...God has incredible plans in store for little mister. His precious 4 month old life has touched thousands of people worldwide....has brought nurses to tears...has caused other families to consider adopting a child with down syndrome...has led people to the Lord, including his Chinese mama...YES...YOU READ THAT RIGHT. Because of Simeon...because of who he is...because of how the Lord moved miraculously....his beautiful, brave, amazing birthmama accepted Christ as her personal Savior. The entire story of her salvation is precious...miraculous...I'm talking treading-on-holy ground. Some day, with her permission, I will share it but know this......because of her choice to give her son life....because of her & her family's choice to place him for adoption....she found Jesus!!!!!!
Not only have we been given the gift of a beautiful son....we have been given the gift of family....we have also been given the gift of a big "sister" :) You see...Simeon's older bio-sister is living near us while she attends college here. We all absolutely adore her and LOVE that she is a part of our lives!
It is virtually impossible to put into words how much we love our sweet baby. He has brought us JOY....glorious JOY....ohhhh....there are no words...he is absolutely AMAZING!!!!! We simply can't imagine our lives without him!
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