Birthmother Baby Shower

Hello my sweet friends!! We are about 4 months away from our newest peanut being born. The pregnancy seems to be going well and the baby is healthy and strong. Continued prayers for protection would be greatly coveted!

I have been asked by a few friends if they could throw us a baby shower...how blessed am I?? This will be treasure #8 and friends and family are still wanting to shower us...love it.

After much praying, we've decided to do something a little different...

Our hearts are very burdened for "L"...

We want to shower our birthmama!!  

Without going into too many details, I will simply say that we want our birthmama to feel loved...cherished...worthy...prayed for...supported...these are things she has not experienced very much in her life.  We are helping with some of her financial needs but we are realizing that some of her basic needs, like food, are not being met.

So here is our hope...we want to flood her with...
~cards of love and encouragement (doesn't have to be anything fancy)(you can even email me your little note & I'll put it in a card for you)
~a gift basket full of goodies that will make her feel special and pampered during the rest of the pregnancy (you can send items for the basket or I can pick them up)(do you sell Mary Kay...Scentsy...purses, etc.)
~gift cards to wal-mart so she can buy the food she needs and any other things she might need that we don't know about.

If you feel led to help us love on our baby's birthmama (she is also Jubilee's bmama), feel free to email me at wearechinabound@gmail.com.

This will be a 'virtual' show so feel free to contact me with any questions!!!  Our hopes are to send everything to her by early to mid-Sept.  "L" is 39 so that may help you as you decide what you'd like to bless her with.

You can also use the chip-in button on the right hand side and all those funds will go towards a gift card. If you do that, if you would be willing to email me a little note to her...I will put it in a card for you.

Can't wait to watch the Lord pour His love on her through each of you!!!

He remembers...

We haven't heard his sweet little chinese (minnan) voice in almost 2 years...he doesn't talk much about China and when he does, it's hard to tell if what he has shared really happened...

We will celebrate his 2 year gotcha in 5 weeks...we thought for sure he would continue to talk to us in minnan for several months (and hopefully longer) once we were home...but nope...once we landed on US soil, He chose to us charades to communicate and no words until he knew the english words....

He came to us at barely 4 years old...excited about having a mama & baba...he came running to meet us...dragging his nanny.  I will NEVER forget the huge smile on his face as he looked up at us for the first time...he has never looked back...

The orphanage director confirmed that there was no possible way for him to know mandarin so our sweet boy came to us with no ability to communicate with his new family....we didn't have the luxury of 2 weeks in China with a guide that spoke his language...talk about full immersion :) but he truly did incredible!

TODAY...today we had the gift of spending time with a precious friend who lives in China. She has played a HUGE roll in helping both of our kiddos home. She was the in-China warrior that the Lord used to help get Cana home...she was relentless in fighting for her...she again fought for us when a situation arose during Solomon's adoption...she has become a very, very dear friend of ours...our sweet Judy. She is in CA visiting and came to church with us this morning (along with her 10yr. old son, 15yr. old niece, and another incredible friend of ours, Sabrina).

Judy squatted down and started talking to Solomon in minnan....he turned pale, got goosebumps, quietly responded to her ...he then quickly hopped into daddy's arms...the look he had on his face was a look that I hadn't seen since we were in China on the orphanage visit.  The visit where he thought we were going to leave him...it brought back so many memories & emotions of those first few weeks. I can only imagine what was flooding through his little head.  We had spent several days with Judy in China with Solomon...the thought that our sweet boy, if even for a moment, thought she was there to take him back to China just levels my heart...oh my sweet son...you are ours FOREVER!!!

Judy looked at us and said, "he remembers...he remembers...he just responded to me in minnan!!"  It was all I could do to hold back the tears...our sweet boy remembers...2 years later he remembers...then as I watched his initial reaction...I started to wonder...what is he remembering?

I immediately praised him...we were all in shock...we honestly thought he had forgotten his birth language...he then hopped into my arms and started calling me "mama" in a baby voice.  I quickly realized that he needed reassurance that it was okay for him to talk in minnan and that I would still be his mommy and that daddy would still be his daddy. A sense of relief fell over his face and he begin to interact more with Judy IN MINNAN...we seriously just all stood there in amazement. He spent the rest of the day telling everyone we saw that he spoke chinese. It was so precious...he was so proud.

Oh my sweet little man...you are the most amazing gift...we love you so much and are so proud of you for feeling safe to remember.

Baby Wearing: to hold or not to hold

A couple of days ago I posted this status:
Children all over the world have to self soothe because they don't have the loving arms of a mama....2 of my children never had anyone to rock them to sleep...to wipe their tears...to kiss their sweet cheeks and to hear 'I love you'. I use to buy into the "let them cry it out" but never again. The season that our babes want to actually be held and cradled is short. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are holding your child too much...that is the most absurd statement...how could possibly love on your babe TOO much?? How could offering comfort, safety, love, and promoting healthy attachment & bonding be a bad thing? God designed our children to need us...they will be on their own soon enough...by holding your babies, your are giving the gift of security and assurance. Such a funny world we live it!


What prompted that fb status? My heart was burdened as I heard a young mama, with great pride, talking about how she is 'finally' letting her daughter cry-it-out. She shared about how the first night it took over 2 hours of her daughter crying before she fell asleep...then 1.5 hours of crying for her nap the next day....then 2.5 hours that night of crying...she was so proud of herself for not giving in and picking up her daughter.  My heart BROKE!!  Was I upset with her...absolutely NOT...society tells her that she is doing what's best for her and for her baby...and she desperately wants to do what is best for her daughter.

You see...I was that mama the first time around....dare I say, almost 15 years ago...man, seeing that in writing makes me feel very old!!! Everyone told me I was spoiling my son because I always held him...that he'd never fall asleep on his own if I always rocked him...that I would never have my own space because he would suffocate me with needing to be held all the time....that he'd never know how to be independent.  It was all well-meaning advice but it was wrong advice.

But being a first time mama and wanting to do everything right, I believed them. I sat on the other side of the door and wept as my baby wept and longed for his mama's arms to hold him....my arms longed to hold him...I remember asking my hubby, 'what am I doing...he wants me...he needs me...' needless to say, that put a quick end to our cry-it-out attempts.

I allowed older, well-seasoned, who honestly wanted-the-best-for-their-children mom's influence my better judgement for our family. I fell into the trap of 'they must know best'. But here is the bottom-line and the reason I am writing this blog post.....

~Only you know the dynamics of your family...only you know your child...if you don't want to have them cry-it-out, then DON'T...it's that simple. The Lord has entrusted you with your child, not your loving friends that are offering advice.  Be confident in your choice, either way and don't feel bad.  I felt so insecure in my decision and I don't ever want another mama to feel that way. Seek the Lord, He will guide you.
~Do I believe that the cry-it-out movement is bad...for my family, ABSOLUTELY...for your family...only you can determine what is best.
~Whether you let your child cry-it-out or not doesn't determine your depth of love for your child...nor does it mean that I think you love your child more or less...my purpose in this post is to offer support for those mama's who are struggling with this decision.

I will say that the cry-it-out method is very dangerous for children that have been adopted older than birth so I beg you to please pray before considering this method. Many have spent their first days...months...years...learning to self sooth and to cope on their own...learning that they don't need anyone in their lives. With lots of love, patience, and time, your job is to teach them...to SHOW them that they indeed do need someone to care for them, especially when they are scared and hurting. By allowing these kiddos to cry-it-out, you are confirming that you aren't going to be there when they need you. Nighttime is a very vulnerable time for most people, especially our kiddos that were adopted after birth.

I urge you to follow your heart and the Lord and be confident in your decision.

Baby wearing has become something very serious and special to our family. Understanding the need for our children to be able to safely explore their environment is also important to us, too Having a child with pretty significant sensory issues, we also know there is a balance...finding that balance will be individualized to each family.

Love your babies...hold your babies...rock your babies...wear your babies...God designed them to need their mama's...God designed you with a special love that only you can give...a special comfort that can only come from you...He also will guide you on the best way to care for your child.

Would you believe that 7 kids later...15 years (eekkk) later...people STILL tell me I hold my babies too much.  I just don't understand how you can hold your baby too much...so weird!!! She doesn't seem to mind being held and I DEFINITELY DON'T MIND holding my babes...I LOVE IT!!!!

Jubilee's Finalization

It is final...she is legally ours...she has been ours since the day she was placed in our arms...actually since the first moment we learned about her...but in the eyes of the legal system, she is now legally ours.

Sweet Jubilee girl, we love you so much. You have changed our lives on so many levels and we can't imagine our lives with out you. Happy Finalization Day girlie!!!

  

  

 Daddy and Mommy making it "official".

Celebrating at Krispy Kreme's of course ;)

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

UPDATE: Please go to Linny's blog for an update HERE!

 Parents have been release and reunited with their 2 bio kids...their precious kids the just adopted are STILL in the orphanage!! PLEASE BE PRAYING CONTINUALLY!!! This whole situation is horrific!

From Jennifer Suen Chen, who is Christine Moghadams sister... 'We need to be praying for Monday's proceedings. PLEASE GET THIS OUT FOR PRAYER! Little 2 year old has a fever and they are worried about malaria. E and I are really traumatized. PLEASE PRAY'

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There is a very precious family in Ghana RIGHT NOW!!! They (along with their 4 and 6 year old) were in country adopting their 4 precious children. With adoption paperwork in hand, ALL of them (YES THE CHILDREN, TOO) were arrested & put in jail on suspicion of child trafficking. The children have been put in an orphanage...yes, their american citizen children, too...I am hearing that the orphanage is a horrific place.

Here is from a friend:
"There is a family in Ghana right now that has been arrested on (unfounded) charges of child trafficking. The family's 6 children (2 bio & 4 newly adopted) have been rendered to the care of a government orphanage while the parents sit in a jail cell in Accra! The bio kids are only 4 & 6 and do not speak the languages of Ghana. The family had their court paperwork with them and the children were all still removed from their parents! PLEASE PRAY for this family!!! The parents' names are Christine & Sol. The US Embassy in Ghana has stated that nothing will be done until Monday, even though there are American born minors affected! PLEASE PRAY for God to intercede and redeem this family! Thank you. 

The family's blog is here.

Our surprise girl!

It is almost impossible for me to believe that our precious Jubilee is ONE years old today! Our sweet surprise girl...I don't know that I every shared the amazing God story behind her arrival. I know most of you know that we were not in the process of adopting when we got 'the call' about our sweet girl....the call that flipped our house upside down in the most beautiful, incredible way imaginable!!  The call that told us about a precious birthmama who desperately wanted to place her baby for adoption...the precious baby that was due in TWO weeks!

Rewind about 4 months...hmmmm...maybe even a little farther back...Solomon had just come home from China Sept. 2011 and was doing incredible...he was 4 and seriously adjusting as if he had already lived with us his entire life...he clung to us as his family and has never looked back. Hubby and I were honestly amazed at how well he was bonding and felt if the Lord ever called us to adopt again, we would adopt older...we had peace about being done with the newborn phase...we were getting older...our kids were getting older..our 3 youngest were all 4.5 years old...it made complete, logical sense to be 'done' with the baby phase.

Fast forward to 4 months before we got 'the call'. My sister-in-law had just delivered their 8th baby and as I held my precious newborn niece, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Hubby looked at me and asked what was wrong?  I vividly remember telling him, "No matter how bad I want this...I could never have this again..." He looked at me so confused...I was confused...I was truly content with never having a newborn babe in my arms again...so I thought!!  I told him, "God has closed our womb (which I was and still TOTALLY fine with...happy actually because we wouldn't have our babes if He hadn't and THAT is an unbearable thought)...."  these words still resound ever-so loudly in my head, "We have 6 children...there is NO WAY a birthmother would ever choose us to adopt her baby...it just makes me sad to realize and accept that we won't have a baby every again."  I remember hubby telling me, "If the Lord wants us to have a baby, He will give us a baby...He is beyond capable."

Then the Lord smiled and I can only imagine Him to say, "My precious daughter, you have no idea what awaits you....."

The Call....we were in the movies when my husband's phone rang and caller id said, 'Nightlight Christian Adoptions'....Paul looked at me and said, "Why are they calling my phone??"  I grabbed that phone and ran out of the theater....I knew it had to be important if they were calling him.  My precious friend and social worker, Kelly, was on the other line...the first words out of her mouth were, "Are you sitting down?" Those were the same words she said when we were fostering Sarah and she told us that her bmom wanted us to adopt her :)  She started to share about a situation that she felt we would be a good match for and wondered if we were at all open...oh and btw...the baby was due in 2 weeks ;)  I sat there shaking, crying...in complete shock. I remember asking Kelly, "Does she know we have 6 children?" And she said, "Yes...this is her 7th baby and she's one of 12...she is totally okay with that...she just wants her baby in a solid Christian home!!"

2 weeks later our sweet baby girl literally came flying into this world and has forever changed our lives!!

She has brought a such a deep joy to our family!! Oh beautiful baby girl, we love you so much! The miracle you are is such an incredible reminder that God's plan for our lives is GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our little beach girl :)

(to think we are going to be blessed with another baby shortly is beyond our comprehension of God's amazing blessings on our family...we can't wait! I almost can hear a HUGE belly laugh from my Lord when I told Paul about 'the 2nd call' ;)

Costco & Adoption

It is no surprise that our family does most of their grocery shopping at Costco.  It is probably no surprise that we go at least once a week...I think our oldest could consume our entire pantry in one day if I let him...this teenage boy thing is so new to me (I have all sisters)...it's actually pretty comical to watch how much his 6' 1" - 14 year old boy can eat...YET...he is still as skinny as a rail.  WHY oh WHY doesn't that work for me...I digress...that's a blog post for another day :)

Back to Costco...obviously with weekly trips to Costco, all of the employees know us and especially know and love our kids.  They see us coming and have samples ready to go for all of them (love that!).  Anyways, yesterdays trip was interesting indeed. I sometimes forget that we are quite the mystery as a family every time we step out the door.  People are always trying to figure us out....most don't say anything, they just stare and you can see it all over their faces.  Some are bold enough to ask, "Do you run a day care?" And when I tell them, "No, they are all mine" they are usually satisfied with that answer and tell me how beautiful our family is and how blessed we are...I AGREE!!

Well...yesterday's trip had the normal 3-4 day care comments UNTIL the toast lady!! Still don't know whether I should giggle or steam.  The toast lady (aka Costco sample employee) stops us mid-shopping to offer the kids toast and the conversation goes down like this:

TL:  Hmmmm, let me guess (finger on her chin)...that one...that one right there (pointing to S, our blondie)...now she's yours.
Me: Yep...they are ALL mine.
TL: What, how can that be...they are all yours?
Me: Yes, maam...they are all mine.
TL: Same dad???? (in her loud, theater voice)
Me: YES! Same dad! (now I'm starting to steam...HOW RUDE...I haven't had this question in years and I forgot how much it makes me mad because of all that question implies!!)
TL: Noooo, can't be! What ethnicity is your husband?
Me: (SERIOUSLY...DID YOU JUST ASK ME THAT???) Yes, it can be and it is! He is caucasian. (I was sure her head was going to spin off in disbelief the way she was shaking her head no)
TL: I don't understand how that can be.
Me: We are an adoptive family...and I do have to say that the questions you are asking are rather rude and personal especially in front of my children.
TL: Well, I was adopted, my brother was adopted...I have 2 step brothers...although, I don't call them my step brothers....blahh, blahh, blahh....
Me: Wow, that is wonderful. Nice chatting with you...I need to finish our shopping. (absolutely baffled that if this woman was adopted, how in the world did she not recognize or even consider that just maybe we were an adoptive family, too)

As offended as I was, I couldn't stop giggling about how much fun I could have with that one. My kids even giggled a bit.  After each 'encounter', I like to follow up with my kids and make sure they understand what was happening in that situation and see if they have any questions.

These situations always remind me that we don't look like the typical family and that we are watched closely.  With that in mind...it is so very important that we are an example of Christ in all that we do...even in how I respond to situations like this. MAKE ME MORE LIKE YOU JESUS!!

SERIOUSLY....I get the privilege of being their mama...with one more on the way...it's an absolute dream. Lord, cause our family to bring you glory!!

#8 :)

It is with incredible joy 

that we share....
that our family is going to be......

blessed with another precious miracle!!

Our sweet Jubilee's birthmama is 3 months pregnant and has asked us if we would adopt the baby and we have said, "YES!!!!!!"  We are all extremely excited and can't wait to hold our new one. It's going to be a LONG 6 months waiting...ya, even 8 kiddos later, I still don't wait well :)

We would love prayer for our sweet baby...for protection...for our precious bmama "L"...for her safety and comfort during and after the pregnancy. For God's financial provision...our agency has drastically reduced our fees (which we are so thankful for) but there will still be fees..."L" is living in another state so we will have some travel costs as well as ICPC cost...and provision for a bigger car...we are maxed out at 9 seats and only have 1 care sooooo, we are looking at needing a 12-passenger van....eeecckkk!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are reward from him. Psalm 127:3

Blessed is the man who has his quiver full of children....Psalm 127: 5

We are in awe of this precious blessing...in awe of this amazing gift!!

Far too long!!

WOW...it has been far too long since I've posted.  I was thinking about what has kept me away and it has simply been life!  I miss each of you....I miss reading your blogs!!!

HOW are you??? Please catch me up...what has the Lord been doing?

We are all doing incredible. We've been keeping busy with school and extra activities...I've been busy taking care of my babes, trying my best to support my hubby's business (need a website...he's your guy ;), training for a marathon (which is this weekend), Jubilee's Jewels....Oh my what an incredible blessing Jubilee's Jewels has been. Our focus has really shifted to helping fundraising families and it's been AMAZING!!! Last month we were able to give $1200 to fundraising families and it looks like we will do the same and possibly more this month. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!

We are 21 days away from little miss Jubilee turning 1...YES...ONE!!!  I seriously can't believe how fast this year has gone! Oh how I love this girl...she has been one of the most amazing gifts...she is an absolute hoot!

So seriously, please leave me a comment with how you are doing...I would really love to know...I would also love to know if I can pray for you!!!

Who's children are these anyways?

They are TOO much!!

YES...they are stuck in-between the screen and glass and boy did they and everyone else think it was pretty funny...boogies on the glass and all!!!